We have got to get out of the “win-lose” mindset and start celebrating each other’s success. Some of us are there, but I still see it as being so incredibly prevalent, particularly in the workplace. If someone you work with succeeds, that’s (not necessarily) a direct correlation to you losing (your job, a promotion, etc.). I’m not saying it doesn’t happen, but I’m saying the chances of it happening must be smaller if we work together instead of competing against each other all the time.
I know, “collaboration” has become such a (barf!) buzzword. What I’m really talking about is about making space for others to come up around you. We have got to stop stepping on each other and being afraid of others’ success. Getting even more specific, I’m talking about white women not being afraid of the success of anyone who doesn’t look like them – and speaking of women of color and minority backgrounds, in particular. Seriously. If you’re guilty of this, it needs to stop. As a white woman, I am telling you – other white women – that you will be amazing if you allow women who are not like you and don’t look like you to enter your spaces, take your place on panels, speak at conferences, and be part of your mastermind groups.
Next time someone is looking for a speaker, recommend a woman of color (and not only to speak on diversity topics!). Are you not sure where to start?
I’ve got some suggestions for you.
(Click through to find each woman on Twitter!)
Amber Lee – Lifestyle, Blogging, Millennial women, Health & wellness, Entrepreneurship
Angela Hemans – Twitter marketing, Marketing, Building your brand online
Antoinette Minor – Podcasting, Entrepreneurship
Contrecia Tharpe – Branding, Communications, Marketing, PR
Eulanda Shead Osagiede – Travel, Entrepreneurship, Living your best life
Faiza Yousuf – Building communities for women, Technology, Coding
Gennette Cordova – Philanthropy, Activism, Nonprofits, Empowerment
Jade Phillips – Entrepreneurship, Branding
Jasmine Powers – Digital Strategy, Marketing
Joy Donnell – Writing, Branding, Public Speaking
Kavita Chintapalli – Social media strategy, Ending violence against women
Lisa Fitzpatrick, MD – Healthcare, Public health, Health literacy, Health tech
Melissa Kimble – Relationship building, The creative movement, Branding, Writing
Nora Rahimian – The music biz (production, best practices, etc.), Women’s rights, Activism, Art as a vehicle for social change
Sabrina Medora – The culinary world, Entrepreneurship, Branding, Marketing
Sherese Maynard – Healthcare, Healthcare IT, #WomenInHIT
This list barely scratches the surface of the incredible, talented, powerful women of color doing amazing work in the world. Let’s keep it growing! Tweet me at @AnOrchidInBloom and let me know who you’d like to add.
For me, hope is one of the most important emotions that we can feel. In times of uncertainty, it can be a rock that keeps us going, allowing us to bounce back from difficult situations. And, in the current social, environmental and political climate, I think that hope has become more significant than ever.
So, how do we define hope?
What is Hope?
With this in mind, I think it’s also fair to say that hopeful people are usually the optimists in the room. But while this can often be labelled as ‘naive’, hopeful people are able to face even the most negative times with a positive attitude. And, because of the many health benefits of optimism, hope can significantly improve our mental health.
What Hope Shouldn’t Be Confused With…
Hope is not blindly expecting good things to happen without putting in some work. If you want the ideal outcome, you have to do something about it and maybe even get others on board. Take climate change for example… if how can you honestly expect people to take it seriously if you aren’t doing anything to prevent it. Hope has to be followed by action and we are all responsible for contributing to the outcomes that we would like to see.
The idea of ‘blind’ or ‘false’ hope comes from wanting an outcome without wanting to contribute to making it happen. And that can be particularly detrimental as nothing can happen from the will of wanting.
Why Hope is Important For Life
Well, life is tough. There are many obstacles and they often come when you least expect it, which also means that having goals isn’t enough. You have to navigate around life’s obstacles while trying to get closer to your aspirations. Hope allows you to approach life-problems with a strategic mindset set up for turning a stressful event into something successful, increasing the chance of your goal being accomplished.
As Psychology Today states: “Hope is much more than a feel-good emotion, it’s a dynamic motivational system. Hope leads to learning goals, which lead to growth and improvement. People with learning goals are actively engaged in their learning, constantly planning strategies to meet their goals, and monitoring their progress to stay on track. A bulk of research shows that learning goals are positively related to success across a wide swatch of human life—from academic achievement to sports to arts to science to business.”
“Those lacking hope, on the other hand, tend to create mastery goals. People with mastery goals choose easy tasks that don’t offer a challenge or opportunity for growth. When they fail, they quit. People with mastery goals act helpless and feel a lack of control over their environment. They don’t believe in their capacity to obtain the kind of future they want. They have no hope”
To put it simply, hope is a driving factor in your success. It allows you to see obstacles as an opportunity to learn rather than the force of the universe acting out against you. Hope is empowering and enables you to tackle the complex issues while setting yourself up for long-term success.
Why Hope Is Important Right Now
I opened up by saying that hope is important, especially with the conversations that are happening across the globe. And, I’ll close by reinforcing that statement.
Whether we are thinking about the potential outcome of Brexit, Trump’s next steps or the devastating impact that humans are having on our environment, hope is the one thing that will not only bring us together but allow us all to have a significant impact. While it is easy to feel powerless, it is important to remember that we all have the capacity to do great things. The amazing leaders of the past did not just end up where they are by chance. They planned, they manoeuvered around difficult setbacks and some of the ploughed right through them. It’s up to us to do the same.
My brother was the first of my siblings to have children, and whenever I think about the legacy that I leave behind, I want to know that I created a slightly better world for my niece and nephew to live in, just as my parents and grandparents did for me. Their success motivates and inspires me, it makes me hopeful as I know that I have it within me to make the future a bit better for the next generation.
My challenge to you? Go out there and do something to create the world that you want to see. Dare to dream. Fight for hope. Create your version of the future.
The thought of filling yourself up after a long day can be exhausting. That said, I’ve been spending more and more time focusing on the concept of filling myself up so that I can serve better and serve more. Let’s be honest, work can be incredibly draining. The 9:00-5:00 isn’t really only 9-5, and so many workplaces are building in the time for lunch, so you actually work a full 40 hours instead of 37.5 (let’s talk 8:00-5:00 or 9:00-6:00 instead if you get a full hour break midday). For those of us who commute, add an extra 30 minutes to an hour onto each end of that, and it’s no wonder that we’re depleted (sometimes even before the day begins simply at the monumental 11 hours in front of us, and that’s assuming we have no plans or evening meetings after work).
Yes, work can go quickly, particularly when I’m working on a project that is absolutely inspiring me. However, it’s still give give give. So many of us have been taught that we need to put others first, that making/taking time for ourselves is selfish or greedy. Truthfully, taking time for myself is what allows me to have more energy to do better and give more to others. This is where that thought comes in each day: What have I done today to fill my cup so that I am not drained later or tomorrow? Whatever you choose, remember it’s all, completely unapologetically, all about YOU.
I have three things that work for me that might work for you, too.
Do something small for yourself every day. Sure, you spend 24 hours a day with yourself, but did you do anything today to benefit you first? Small can be making tea in the morning or before bed, sitting quietly for 15 minutes as you enjoy it, and making yourself the top priority, or it can be treating yourself to breakfast on the way to work. Figure out what makes you smile and do that thing.
Work it out. I find exercise to be a great way to energize myself while also burning off any negativity I’m carrying. Go to yoga, take a walk at lunch with a coworker, or put on a workout video for 20 minutes at home. More into meditation? That’s great, too! We’re simply glad you’re taking time for you.
Make the whitespace. Say no. We talk a lot about boundary setting here at BizGalz, but I’m going to say it again. It’s. 👏 Okay. 👏 To. 👏 Say. 👏 No. 👏 For real. Boundaries are totally acceptable and it’s okay to have some nights in (if that’s your thing, although I know other people fill themselves up by being social butterflies). Be true to you. It’s 100% okay to say no and to keep some unscheduled time for yourself.
Whatever you do, whatever you choose, unapologetically make time for you. How will you fill yourself up today?
It’s no secret. I am a proud Mom. My tween is on the honor roll. She made the basketball team at a new school. She has this amazing philanthropic spirit. And most days, my daughter can tolerate hanging out with her YouTube-confused, middle-aged Mom.
After her birth, I was prepared for the challenges that lay ahead. Teething. Potty training. Pre-algebra homework. But even in a modern society, I never imagined to be surrounded by road blocks – in and out of work.
We as women continue to battle obstacles most men rarely experience. These hurdles are not limited to the workplace. We have been raised in a culture where men are historically placed in a higher echelon.
However, not all of the blame lays with society. I recently attended an event where two female CEOs spoke about love and children and left the audience with no actionable lessons. They stereotypically walked right into the clichéd “working mom” trap.
Then there was the Dreamforce panel in which the moderator – a woman – ignored the successes of its female participants and proceeded to patronize them throughout the interview.
Being a working mom, I often am asked, “How do you do it? Isn’t it hard?”
Let me tell you what is hard. Work is. Parenting is. But you know what else is difficult? Pitching new business to a potential client. Drafting a blog post when you have the worst case of writer’s block. Driving through rush hour traffic to make a parent-teacher conference.
So my question is, “How do any of us do it?”
I have the same ambitions as my childless co-workers. And often our careers for all of us are the vehicles towards we achieve those goals. Yes, my family life undoubtedly will trickle into my work. I can leave work but I can never “leave” my family. But I also put in extra hours to hit a deadline. I will consider relocating my family if an opportunity arises. These are all choices any employee would have to make.
Parenting is rewarding. But so is my career. I have been fortunate. I have worked for organizations that are very family-friendly. But I never expect an advantage because I am a Mom. I want the same flexibility and considerations to be extended to my coworkers with no children. Juggling work-life balance is a struggle we all have – men, women, single,
married, parent or not.
I am committed to my job and pride myself in producing the best work I can. I want to succeed in my career, not for my daughter, not for society, but for me. Being a strong role model is simply an added perk.
So why must I prove myself as a working mother to others? If my employer is satisfied with my work, then shouldn’t you be too?
Work does not change my identity.
I am a Mom. I am a community manager. I am a friend. I am a volunteer. I am multifaceted. I am Monina Wagner.